A girl texted something along these lines:
Stop playing games, I know all about the waiting before text back strategy
I was not waiting to text her back. I had no strategy to text her back. I was responding to her when I got around to it.
Unlike the majority of today’s people I do not have my phone on me at all times. Many times its on the other side of the apartment or in a different room. Unplugged.
In recent years I have noticed that things that I used to consider have become second nature to me. I no longer need to study the body language of a person to know what they’re feeling or thinking, I merely glance and know. Raw processing power.
I do not choose the right words to say, they naturally come out. I look at girls I want to look at, ignore the rest. I have no ulterior motives, I merely do what I want. Freedom
I have attained a level of comfort in my environment that the majority will never attain.
Later that night I sat down and considered this revelation. When did I things that cause others social anxiety become second nature to me. Of course it is difficult to pin down, but it was all due to entering a level of detailed self-examination.
I studied myself. I discovered the traits that disgusted me. I learned what was necessary to rectify. I cured the underling causes and not merely the symptoms.
I decided that I needed to first build the foundations upon which greatness could stand. This required developing my body, mind, and spirit. My journey became a lifestyle.
I have reached the endgame of my journey to build my foundation. On to the next one.
I am now on the precipice of an open world before me. I am moving back to New York City and am shedding many obligations. I have the gift of youth, vitality, and understanding of self. I see the world for what it is, a joke that most will never understand. My smiles are never false and I am unconcerned by the haters.
It is time for me to begin examining what my next endgame will be.
Where will I be moving on from here.
What pieces are before me.
Many coast through life without distinction. They lack vision. They are content with their mediocre existence and potato chips. Societal Cannon Fodder.
You must do better than your neighbor. You must strive for greater heights than your best friend. You must always keep topping yourself.
You must take the time to vocalize what you wish from life. You must remind yourself of the challenges you will overcome. You constantly prepare and play your endgame.
What kind of life do you wish to live. Describe it with vivid detail. Plan your endgame.
If you read this blog, then you must have a wish for a life that will invoke jealousy in others. You are striving for an existence that is beyond the societal grind. You know deep in your heart that there is more to life than buying the kool-aid of the corporate life. You have seen the importance to live life while you still can and not let your best years pass you by.
The world is crumbling and you wish to rise from the rubble and survive while others are engulfed in the chaos. Checkmate.
Plan your next endgame. When you reach that juncture, plan the next endgame. Rinse, Repeat,
Let the haters continue gorging themselves into a mental, spiritual, and physical obesity.
There comes a time when you have attained a level of mental clarity that eludes the majority. Your spirit feels as if it came from the fires of Hephaestus himself. You look past your own shores for challengers. Antaeus.
Then one day you are reminded of your own fragility. The higher you rise the easier it is to tumble and perish. The higher you rise the more every stumble reminds you of what lies beneath. The higher you rise the more memorable every set back.
A few years ago I experienced the most tragic realization that can befall a young man. I was suffering from low testosterone.
I remember something was amiss when I recognized that for a number of weeks I did not wake up to slumber lumber. At first I did not think much of it, but then I noticed something else. Blood did not flow like the torrent that signifies a healthy man, nay I was embarrassed by the trickle that my body produced.
For those that have not experienced this event the fear is terrifying. One begins to wonder if it is a dietary or mental cause. You lay awake and attempt to figure out what your weakness is. Have I been over stressed? Have I had a spike in estrogen from BPAs? When was the last time I ate a steak?
What was especially concerning for me was that I was living with this debilitating condition when I was daily fighting with iron at the gym and getting knocked around in Muay Thai.
For a while I did not bring this issue up with my physician because I was rightly embarrassed. I thought that I could solve the issue with pure will and utilizing Bing. The internet claimed it was a common problem, but I wrote them off as trolls.
Eventually my social life began to suffer and I approached my doctor. She informed me that it was a common situation and that she had dealt with it a number of times. She was not sure if it was biological or psychological. She ordered tests and offered me Cialis.
I took the test, refused the Cialis. If I was to tumble down I would do it on my own volition, I would not utilize such a crutch.
The tests found that I had severely low testosterone for my age. Alpha-Male Kryptonite.
She offered me a few hints, but ultimately I understood that it would be up to me.
I went Paleo. Vegetables. Abundant Meats and Fish. Eggs. Healthy Fats.
I supplemented with Apple Cider Vinegar and Bee Pollen.
Bought a kettle-bell and started sprinting again.
Took kelp to regulate my thyroid.
Refused to wear or utilize almost any item that was not made of natural resources.
Glass containers, not plastic.
In a month the virility of youth returned. I was the God Min reborn.
My hair was strengthen and had a healthy sheen.
Skin became taut and muscles grew.
Female heads once again turned.
The blood of a smirking warrior once again flowed proudly through my being.
I remember the fear and trepidation I experienced that year ago. I remember the doubts that coursed through my mind. I embrace the feeling of weakness. I reminisce my pathetic moment.
I affirm my own fragility. I now climb to the top with greater humility.
It truly doesn’t take much to knock an eagle out of the sky.
Last night I was hanging out with my friend from the block. As we are prone to do, we ended up strolling through the neighborhood and wandering into the establishment of the local purveyor of the devil’s buttermilk. It was a relaxing evening of mostly people watching and catching up. However he did said something that brought me pause.
“I hear more goals being mentioned in one hour hanging out with you than I have all year.”
I am naturally an ambitious person and I have a list of accomplishments that I will attain. To me mentally and verbally reminding myself of what I must reap is an everyday occurrence. To me it is as normal and necessary as a diabetic taking insulin.
What caused me reflection after this statement was realizing that I have created myself a worldview where nothing can be beyond my grasp. As you dear readers well know my lifelong goal is to establish myself as an international playboy. However, to many of those that know me this phrase is no longer a lofty goal.
They hear me speak it with conviction and they can not help but believe. I am not uttering empty words, I am proclaiming a prophecy that will pass.
I do not sit on my haunches waiting for the celestial master to drop scraps into my dish. I stalk through the jungle that is life and seek out that which will be mine. Apex-Predator.
I took a small step yesterday and was fitted for my first custom suit. The tailor remarked that it was no wonder that off the rack suits look terrible on me. My build does not allow for it. This confirmed my own belief that I was not blessed to be among the masses. To the pessimist I am delusional. I am simply building a personal mythos.
I wake up each morning with happiness and with purpose. Complaints no longer poison my lips. The world is my chessboard and I am on my way towards attaining Grand Master. Your daughters may be future lovers.
You must ask yourself a simple question: where are you heading.
Where do you wish to be. Producer. Cancer researcher.
Where are you going.
If you know, do you speak with conviction or are you simply paying lip service.
Do you stand at your desk boggled by all the troubles life smothers you or do you recognize that life does not know your name, face, or dreams. Do you understand that life is indifferent to you.
Kindness and Cruelty are things that humans impart onto other humans. Life does not target you. Memento Mori.
As humans, dear readers we are made up of star dust. We are built from the remnants of celestial balls of fire, the stars. From our birth we are designed to be great; very few of us take up the call. Goes to Voicemail.
We allow the haters to corrupt our desires and trust in self. Kobayashi Maru.
Doubts naturally creep into our psyche for doubts are part of our ancestral self-preservation instincts.
You can only overcome those doubts if you know your heading. Warp Speed Mr. Sulu.